HEARD ON THE BUS // “I don’t trust the moon. It’s always following me.” — bus, Madrid ✦ “No, February has 30 days on leap years. That’s why they’re called that.” — office kitchen ✦ “I’m not superstitious. I’m just careful around ladders, mirrors, cats, and Tuesdays.” — family dinner ✦ “The Wi-Fi is slow because it’s raining on the internet.” — train, somewhere ✦ SUBMIT YOURS — THE DONKEY IS LISTENING
The Almanac of Human Folly

Shittypedia

Lovingly documenting our species’ finest not-so-finest moments. Peer reviewed by a donkey.

EST. 2026 · NINE FOUNDERS · ONE UNIMPRESSED DONKEY
Today’s Entry
ENTRY № 0007 · FEATURED
Peer Reviewed™

On the Thermal Discomfort of Wet Underwear: A Study Humanity Genuinely Funded1

In 1994, two Norwegian scientists set out to answer a question that had haunted mankind since the invention of both water and underwear: is wet underwear uncomfortable?2 Eight brave volunteers sat in a cold chamber in damp undergarments while researchers took measurements. After rigorous analysis, science confirmed what every toddler already knewcitation needed — yes. Yes, it is.

The study remains a landmark achievement in the field of Things We Could Have Just Asked Anyone,3 and a moving reminder that somewhere, a grant committee approved this.

  1. Bakkevig & Nielsen, Ergonomics, 1994. Real. Look it up. We’ll wait.
  2. The fabric type mattered, apparently. Wool performed admirably. Wool always does.
  3. A field in which humanity holds every world record.
Ear twitch “Eight men sat in wet pants for science. The donkey has carried lighter burdens.” — The Donkey
DONKEY-O-METER
The Collection
Chapter I

Peer Reviewed™

Real published science with premises so absurd, the methodology section is the punchline.

 Chapter II

Famous Last Words

Confident expert predictions, lovingly preserved with dates. “Computers? In a home?”

 Chapter III

Committee Approved

Official output of official institutions. The cucumber curvature regulation was real, and it had annexes.

 Chapter IV

We All Believed This

Radium toothpaste. Doctor-recommended cigarettes. Collective certainties, expired and archived.

 Chapter V

The Hodja Files

700-year-old wisdom-fool tales, each paired with its thriving modern descendant.
Heard on the Bus

“Of course I read the terms and conditions. I’m in them.”

bus, line 27

“My diet starts Monday. Not this Monday. A Monday.”

supermarket queue

“I put it somewhere safe. That’s the problem — it’s too safe.”

family dinner

All quotes overheard in good faith. The bus may have been metaphorical. No names, ever — the village keeps its idiots anonymous, because it’s all of us on different days.

Think you’re funny?

The Donkey has seen empires rise and fall, and was impressed by neither. Submissions are reviewed by nine humans and one very high bar.

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