HEARD ON THE BUS // “I don’t trust the moon. It’s always following me.” — bus, Madrid
✦ “No, February has 30 days on leap years. That’s why they’re called that.” — office kitchen
✦ “I’m not superstitious. I’m just careful around ladders, mirrors, cats, and Tuesdays.” — family dinner
✦ “The Wi-Fi is slow because it’s raining on the internet.” — train, somewhere
✦ SUBMIT YOURS — THE DONKEY IS LISTENING
The Village
About the Nine
Founded on a vacation, by nine friends, in the company of one skeptical donkey.
Shittypedia is an almanac of human folly, written with affection. We collect real absurd science, expert predictions that aged like milk, official documents about cucumber geometry, expired collective certainties, and 700-year-old folk tales that describe your Tuesday with unsettling accuracy.
Our patron saint is Nasreddin Hodja — the wise fool of a hundred cultures, who has been making both philosophers and farmers laugh since the 13th century. His stories work twice: once when you hear them, and again when you think about them. That’s our whole editorial standard, on a donkey.
The Style Guide (the entire thing)
- We, never them. The joke is always that we’re all in this together, and none of us are as smart as we think.
- Warmth is load-bearing. This site likes humans. It finds us ridiculous and endearing. The moment it tips into contempt, it has failed.
- Two layers, always. Funny with no knowledge required; funnier the more you know. If it only works for PhDs, it’s smug. If it only works as slapstick, it’s shallow.
- Real beats invented. Specific, dated, sourced absurdity is comedy. Vague stupidity is just cynicism.
- Private people are off limits. No names, no workplaces, no identifying details. Public figures’ documented public statements are fair; their private lives aren’t our beat.
- Nothing still bleeding. Expired follies only. If a significant living community still holds the belief, it’s not funny yet — it’s just Tuesday. We let history cool before we serve it.
- The footnotes carry the punchlines. Tradition since entry № 0001.
An entry is published when it makes at least three of the nine founders laugh out loud when read aloud. The donkey’s vote is advisory, permanent, and always “unmoved.”
The Donkey
The Donkey has no name. He has carried a philosopher for seven hundred years and remains unconvinced by all of it. His amusement is measured on the official Donkey-o-Meter: Unmoved → Ear Twitch → Smirk → Full Bray. A Full Bray has been awarded rarely, and never regretted.
